Steph and I went to a play party as equipment vendors last month. It was an eye opening experience for a number of reasons. First, it was once again, an affirmation of how lovely the people in our local scene are. Everyone is so open and accepting. That is not the eye opening part.
As we sat there, observing the goings-on (as we didn’t sell anything, which I will address in the next post), we began discussing what a fascinating experience this was. Here was a group of people that was so comfortable with one another (and themselves), that no-one seemed to think twice about stripping down to their lime green thong to be flogged against a St.Andrews cross, or laid out for some fire play. It was beautiful to see people in their environment, with others like them, and how happy everyone was. It makes me remember why I love these people.
Sorry, forgive me for that tangent. We sat there critiquing (or appreciating) someone’s flogging technique, it occurred to me, that most people would find this experience very strange. I was surprised how comfortable it all was, and how surreal it seemed all at the same time.
According to some studies, somewhere between 5 and 25 percent of Americans show some affinity for the BDSM lifestyle. Actual figures are hard to come by due to the public perception of deviance in the community ( I have done photos of people who have asked not to be recognizable in the pictures because they fear repercussions from employers).
My point being, the vast majority of the population would be very uncomfortable with spending an evening among our community, but knowing these people… knowing how kind, loving and accepting they truly are, I’d say I think it’s a pretty good way to spend an evening…experiencing new things, with beautiful people.
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Only Flickr members with safe search OFF will see the photos. Join Flickr free.
Sounds like a graduate school seminar, doesn’t it? Something in the modernculture series,perhaps, with dense, turgidly written books and articles required reading. Fellow students with bad skin and black glasses…
Nope, the Flickr pool bearing this overly pretentious appellation is chock full of remarkable sexy photographs!
With the knowledge and blessings of both my husband and pet, I’ve recently started semi seriously looking for another sub. I am not displeased with the pet I have now. I still want him around. I’m just finding I need more than what he gives me.
Over the last little while, I’ve been receiving messages from people who might have been okay, but too far. I did the long distance thing once, with my husband. Once was enough. Then there were the odd or silly ones. For example, the one who wanted to be my financial slave. Wanting to come to me, do chores, handyman things and pay me for it……just to be in my female supremacy presence. Or the one who the only thing he wrote was a question on what I thought about kneeing him in the groin. (I have been exploring CBT but I’m not sure about kneeing a guy.) I’m not knocking these things. It’s just a little odd to me that these were these guys openers. I did get this one sweet message from a trans woman who liked my shoes. (One picture I have posted is of just my feet in a pair of sexy red shoes.) We had a couple back & forth messages about clothes and then that was it.
Yesterday, I get a message from a guy. His message and his profile seemed nice enough. He lives a little bit of a distance. But he drives and is willing to travel. In fact after some messages back and forth and a littke chat on messenger, He wants to do anything for me. The guy is a little over eager. I will give hm that. Maybe even a little desperate sounding. But so far, I’m not getting any real red flags from him. So I have set up a meeting with him Monday evening.
It is only going to be a coffee meeting. I was asked if I wanted him to book a motel so I could give him a “body inspection”. I declined the offer, telling him we are first just going to meet.Then if that goes well, we will make plans to get together for another time. He asked me what I wanted him to wear. I was given the choice of tight jeans or tight leather pants. Given my small fetish for leather, that is what I told him to wear. He then proceeded to tell me he’ll get hard just by my touching him. There were other naughty things said. For a very quick second I thought of breaking my rule and telling him,”Okay, I changed my mind. I want the inspection”. But this needs to be done right.
I really don’t know what will come out of this, but it should be interesting…even if it goes south.
Vampires have always been a popular fantasy. From teens to adults many people want to be a vampire, get bitten by a vampire, kill a vampire, or fuck a vampire.
The more recent films make out vampires to be sexy, but people were seeing the appeal even when ‘The Lost Boys’ came out, or even back in the days where Vincent Price was Dracula.
The older fantasy was perhaps more innocent. The unconscious and bitten girl carried helpless in the vampires arms appealed to many women, as did the secret nightime visits.
The modern tales have heavy sexual overtones to them – such as in ‘Twilight’.
Is it Necrophilia if the dead person is fucking the living one?
I don’t link to Flickr groups very often except when they augment a gallery I’ve posted. My reason for normally avoiding stand alone group posting is the quite uneven quality of group photos. But, hey, who am I to be so choosy…. Here are a few groups feature sexy or erotic photos… Many of the photos in the following groups are not very good, but others are well worth looking at. Enjoy the wheat, ignore the chaff.
Exotic Erotic Ball - photos of, “the annual Halloween party in San Francisco. Currently held at the Cow Palace.”
Tasteful Erotic – “It is not at all nudity, that makes a shot erotic. A view, a pose, or simply a shoe can be more erotic than simple nudity. Erotic means to create a erotic atmosphere!”
Erotic Poetry – “Hey, the title is clear enough. You can post any kind of poem with any kind of erotic or sexual content…”
“Erotic” Defined... - “What is ‘erotic?’ A review of the pics tagged as such shows there are almost as many interpretations as there are flickr members.”
Glamour/Erotic Creations – “This group is about Glamour and Erotic photography, to express the Inexplicacble female beauty through pictures…”
Erotic-ism – “Erotic body .. and more. A group for the artistic erotic enthusiast.”
The question of why I don’t smoke cigarettes is both an easy and a complicated question to answer. Simply, I never had an interest in smoking cigarettes. My parents smoked unfiltered cigarettes when I was growing up, and I detested that smell that continuously permeated the air. And my fetish from pretty early on focused solely on cigars, and watching women smoke cigarettes did not have the same arousing effect on me.
But when I was growing up in the 1970s, cigarette smoking was ubiquitous. You could smoke anywhere. People commonly smoked in the movies, on tv, and on television, and not just criminals and low characters, but also the heroes and heroines. By the age of fourteen or fifteen, most of the pretty girls I knew smoked cigarettes, and also most of my male friends as well smoked marijuana as well as cigarettes.
Cigars, on the other hand, were not very commonly smoked. It was hard to find good cigars. What you could find, in drug stores, convenience stores and super markets, was cheap machine-made cigars, especially filter-tipped ones. At the end of the 60s, it had become very hip to smoke cigars with a tip, and in the 70s, all the cigar brands had at least one line of filter-tips.
When I was in high school, every morning, before the first period bell rang, a crowd of people would congregate out in front of all the entrances to smoke before they went in to begin the school day. All students, no teachers. Groups of friends would meet there to have a cigarette and catch up on the gossip of who was dating who and such. I always felt myself an outsider looking in on the cool kids, the kids who smoked.
I had had my chance to be part of that group. When I was twelve, a group of about 5 boys my age, which included two of my best friends, invited me to go with them to hang out in an underpass under the new highway and smoke. I went with them because I didn’t want to be left out, but I didn’t really want to smoke. I did hang out with them all day, and other than making a couple of lame excuses why I didn’t want to smoke that day, I didn’t bring it up.
But in the years thereafter, I was very glad that I didn’t join in with them. My friends and I throughout the lower grades had been the best students, not only getting the best grades, but also being the most active in things like the class plays. But not long after my friends started smoking, and then drinking, our paths diverged. I continued to be a good student and an active one, and school was very enjoyable for me, while they spent more and more of their time drinking and smoking, and misbehaving. When they got together to talk, the main topic of conversation was how much they had drunk the night before, or what kind of drugs they had gotten high on. Then the next matter for concern was when they would be able to sneak away to smoke their next cigarette, and maybe to drink some liquor they had smuggled into school. That all seemed like such a waste of time to me, a manner of existence completely bereft of imagination and humor, something I did not want for myself in the slightest.
I still know and see many people who smoke cigarettes as some mark of rebelling against the status quo, endlessly pining for that next smoke, and arranging their whole lives around when they can get that next smoke. At my most judgmental, they strike me as pathetic addicts – it wouldn’t matter what their addiction was, whether it be coffee, cigarettes, gambling, alcohol etc., their behavior, pitiful as it is, is remarkably the same to me. When I am feeling more sympathetic towards cigarette smokers, then my attitude toward them is one of bemusement, especially in the winter when they have to endure the cold at regular intervals and take a break to go outside and smoke.
In contrast to my former friends turned smokers, in college I met many people who smoked cigarettes, including many very attractive ladies, who still managed to be good students. They were not rebels so much, but smoked more as a social affectation, as a way of fitting in. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, and it was clear that smoking would not achieve that for me. I was by then happier to be known as the strange character who didn’t fit in.
Besides, by college I was set on becoming a musician, with my singing voice as my main instrument. And smoking, it was clear to me, would do damage to my instrument. Ironically, it still being a time and place where decadence was prevalent, lots of people who were in the college choir still smoked at least occasionally, at parties if not all the time.
But not me. Yes, I joined a fraternity (a music fraternity) and did a good amount of drinking, but I did not get into smoking. I did date one woman who smoked cigarettes, and she was very courteous toward me, never smoking when I was around and giving me warning when she was going to smoke.
The final reason I don’t smoke cigarettes is that as I grew up anti-cigarettes, I became pro-cigars, and so I have discovered many positive aspects of smokingn cigars that, to me, are not found in smoking cigarettes, and so that lack to my mind just adds to the number of reasons that I have no interest in cigarettes. In a future post (perhaps my next post), I will compare and contrast cigars and cigarettes from my perspective.
Adrenagirls is a strange site. Many of the photos use nudes to create or suggest a geometric pattern. Here’s a cute example.
Tom McFarlane has a thing for nudes in antique bathtubs. Here’s Allison, a well done set. Tom’s photostream.
From somewhere in Brazil, Eros O Dom has an eye for the elegant nude. My favorite set is deliciously kinky group of arty bondage shots.
Apparently French (another empty profile), nude-dreams (Andre Mertz) photos are reminiscent of French cooking. Here the female nude form is simply the foundation for his art. Nude Dreams, his best set, showcases his fine work.
Donjuanfotos, from Portugal (?), has as many models as his namesake had lovers. Here is his marvelous 126 photo set of gorgeous pinups.
For everything out there there’s a fetish that gets off on it, from innocent fluffy handcuffs to the less innocent fluffy sheep and everything in between.
In this article we shall explore some of the more popular fetishes, and a couple of slightly less common ones!
SCHOOL GIRLS A lot of people find this very popular fetish a little disturbing as the paedo-panic reaches an all time high, leading fans to feel a great sense of guilt… but should they?
Obviously if you’re scouring the streets for ACTUAL school girls then yes you should feel very guilty (unless of course you’re an actual school boy in which case carry on…) However, if you’re searching the streets for grown women parading around in naughty school girl costumes on nights out, twirling their pigtails and sucking on lollypops suggestively then you have nothing to be ashamed of.
There is a lot of reasons for a school girl fetish. It has base routes in domination and submission. The naughty school girl in under the control of her school teacher, if he puts her in detention then she shows up. In times gone by, if he wanted to cane her then she bent over to take it. There is a lot of sexual fantasy built around domination and submission, and if the idea of your girlfriend or wife over your knee in a tartan kilt and frilly knickers whilst you spank her for being so naughty gets your juices flowing, then it’s less about the tartan kilt and more about the spanking.
So why do you need the uniform? Partly because you shouldn’t. You’re not allowed to fancy those school girls who look deceptively mature whilst still wearing their school tie and knee socks. So of course, once you’re not allowed to do something it becomes forbidden fruit. Forbidden fruit is everso much more desirable then apples off the shelf in tesco. Whilst having little or no urge to actually taste the fruit coming out of the school yard, you can make that fruit much more accessible and still incredibly arousing by having it on the grown woman in your life. You get all the exciting feelings for “naughty” and “wrong” whilst still getting the go ahead!
And finally… those uniforms (especially the ones available on www.erogenous-zone.co.uk/schoolgirlzone.html) are VERY sexy anyway! Little skirts, frilly knickers, revealing tops, regardless of the material, those garments show off your figure and all those naughty places in a very sexy way!
HANDCUFFS
Whether you like the fluffy kind shown above, or something a bit more hardcore, the appeal of handcuffs, stocks, bondage tape etc is back to domination and submission. Giving up power to your lover is incredibly seductive.
There’s the old saying that what you hate in life, you love in the bedroom. In the case of women we are gradually becoming more and more independent, more confident and more likely to loathe the idea of having our power taken away, especially by men. But put us on bedsheets behind closed doors and suddenly we’re gagging to be thrown down onto the sheets, tied up and ravaged like a wench being ravaged by an angry viking.
Could it be that we secretly long for the days where we were the meek and mild woman at home? Probably not, but there’s certainly an appeal to getting that balance from our work life where we dominate and are powerful, to the home life where we let our man ravage us with nothing we can do about it (bar a pre agreed upon safety word)
You powerful men in high pressured careers who let absolutely nobody take advantage of them in the office or during after work drinks will get off on having their partner handcuff them and do the same.
Life is all about yin and yang. If you’re high pressured and powerful in one area, you want to relinquish that for the relief of submission elsewhere.
It also leads us on to….
WHIPS
If you get off on handcuffs and restraints in general then you most likely will see the appeal of whips and paddles.
It may well not be something as ferocious as the above, perhaps a soft paddle or slightly smaller whip, but the point is, it is letting your partner take control over you.
Whether you’re enjoying some gentle play, or going for the more heavy strikes, it is very rare that both of you will be whipping at the same time, even if you both enjoy the feeling. Someone takes the dominant, whipper, role, and the other takes the submissive, whipee, role.
This also brings us to the pleasure of pain. The fundamental principles of SnM are pleasure and pain. A little pain causes the opposite pleasure. For some this can be extreme going as far as drawing blood and causing actual physical harm, but for most a little spank on the bum or some gentle nipple biting can be incredibly pleasing. Many women find having their gently pulled very erotic. If you try it during the normal day you will no doubt get a punch, but if you do it during the passionate heat of sex, it has the desired effect.
LATEX
Latex and rubber are popular materials used in kinky lingerie and clothing. The tight, figure hugging, glistening material shines like water and binds the body. It feels wonderful both for the wearer and for any hands rubbing over it across their body.
A dress like the above has a similar effect to restraints as it restricts movement.
When men or women combine a latex outfit with a whip they look intimidating and kinky and very dominant, or if you put them in something restrictive and handcuff them they are incredibly submissive and controlled.
Other popular materials for such clothing are leather, it’s tough and strong, and for this reason is usually for domination wear, but submission toys. You can look incredibly threatening and hardcore in the right leather or latex clothing!
A lot of people find the hardcore scene associated with latex a little too intense and you can see on the streets material with a similar glistening and binding effect but more accessible to the fetish shy.
MASTURBATION
Watching a woman pleasure herself is a popular internet porn search, and hearing it over the phone is something many sex lines promise! It is also a popular fantasy for a woman to touch herself and rub her clitoris during sexual intercourse. A toy like the above is perfect for this as it slips over the finger and vibrates causing intense clitorial orgasms as well as the penetrative pleasure.
So why do so many men enjoy this?
Men are well known to be very visual animals, they like to watch everything from your boobs bouncing around when you’re on top to your face contorting in pleasure when you climax. The addition of you touching yourself is more to watch.
Men masturbate. A lot. This is because many people think men need sex more than women and have a far higher sex drive, for a man to see you touching yourself suggests that you do it on your own too (preferably whilst fantasizing about him naked) and therefore you also have a high sex drive and need sex a lot (again… preferably with him)
If you’re comfortable enough to touch yourself during sex then that means you’re relaxed and trusting of him, perhaps meaning you’re open to exploring new things, perhaps meaning you would be open to suggestion of some of the fetishes previously explored!
Of course, most of these things are entirely subliminal and the main reason is that they get to watch you doing something naughty, but the other reasons are bubbling around under the surface.
There are as many fetishes out there as you can imagine and more, so please tell us yours and why!
A lot of people find this very popular fetish a little disturbing as the paedo-panic reaches an all time high, leading fans to feel a great sense of guilt… but should they?
Whether you like the fluffy kind shown above, or something a bit more hardcore, the appeal of handcuffs, stocks, bondage tape etc is back to domination and submission. Giving up power to your lover is incredibly seductive.
Watching a woman pleasure herself is a popular internet porn search, and hearing it over the phone is something many sex lines promise! It is also a popular fantasy for a woman to touch herself and rub her clitoris during sexual intercourse. A toy like the above is perfect for this as it slips over the finger and vibrates causing intense clitorial orgasms as well as the penetrative pleasure.